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Song of the Flower, v.2 by ~kodama:iconkodama:



Have you seen that Sun at midnight shining,
'Cross the sea in early June?

Are the flowers in their beds reclining,
Or have they run off with the Moon?


Long lost the Moon that shone so freely,
'Neath in the pale indiff'rent sky

Long worn from twilight's petals lightly
Brushed away as hopes bled dry


Have you long been waiting for that shining,
Radiant dame we named the Moon?

Have all your hopes spent daybreak pining
For lovely maiden gone to soon?
©2004-2009 ~kodama
:iconkodama:

Author's Comments

I wrote in my journal that I had lost this piece, but apparently I had it memorized ;p

I wasn't sure whether to update the old one or make a new piece, at first, but the style has completely changed from original intent. I think the first section still fits (let me know if you feel otherwise) but it took on a much different feel than a children's poem (as you can tell).

The end of this poem is made to feel more like a beginning, tell me if you think this works, I hope to expand on this in a completely new piece, in the future. It could be a while before I write at all, due to college and such. So... enjoy (or don't :D)

Comments


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:iconcaffin8ed:
I'd offer some sort of useful criticism but I'm too busy loving everything about this. So beautiful.
:iconhikaru-kun:
Don't want to criticize, it's good enough.

--
Oh Come My Way!! Oh Come My Way!! Oh....crap!!
:iconoosoleiloo:
Oh goody, I read the little verse you put up a year ago, and wished there were more, and there IS!

--
------
Sir, say no more,
Within me 'tis as if
The green and climbing eyesight of a cat
Crawled near my mind's poor birds.
:iconphoenixia:
What can I say? You have very beautiful, lyrical writing, and I would rather like to read more of it.

--
-Phoenixia
Rising from the Ashes

Details

August 23, 2004
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